YOU OWN IT

YOU OWN IT



An honorable man said “why won’t it be a man’s world when women always give us what we want”. Wait, was he wrong? A man didn’t just wake and start nursing the superiority feeling, NO, he was guided by the method of upbringing and teachings right from his childhood. Hopefully the new generation of mothers would raise their sons and daughters equally at least to stop female humiliation.
So he told you, if you loved me, show me. You refused, he threatened. It’s normal, you were told. Society presently is abreast of it. They ask “why are you in a relationship if you can’t have sex with your partner?” Simply put “no sex no relationship” You got that right.

Back in the teen’s church, our Pastor’s wife said “as a woman, you have the power to control men, a man may not be able to but you can resist any man”.
Suddenly, came the popular phrase “he used and dumped me”, my question, didn’t you enjoy it while it lasted? Now please spare him for dumping you, blame your inability to say NO, to decide what happens to your body. You didn’t say NO because you didn’t want him to leave, do you still have him with YES? Perhaps you gave him sex in appreciation of his niceness, it’s called dignified prostitution. If you know you will feel used and dumped if things don’t work out, please be in charge of yourself.
It is time to stop having your heart broken in a bid to satisfy the insatiable pleasure of men.

_No guy owns you, you own yourself and you alone bare every responsibility that comes thereafter_.

I really do hope that mothers would start teaching their daughters how to be strong and their sons, compassion.

PRODUCT REVIEW, UYAI NATURALS LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER

Hello people, I am sure most of you know that I am more of a DIY person and I have been doing things myself since the day I made up my mind to return natural over two years ago. I got my very first store bought product, VO5 rinse out conditioner, ten months after I was fully natural and it has since been the only hair product I buy. Now, I thought I should try a leave-in conditioner. Note, I have used Olive ORS leavein conditioner and I loved it,absolutely great but I didn't buy it with my money.

Okay so now it is confession time. My brother is a product junkie and I assist him in using the natural hair friendly ones like the Olive ORS leavein. Your brother? You say, some of you product junkie can't beat his array of hair  products, I'm telling you. So I thought it wise to assist him,there's nothing wrong in assisting one's brother,right?. You think he keeps afro? Wrong, he's simply on low cut. I still don't get him.

I apologise for digressing. After series of testimony about Uyai Naturals, I decided to place my order of the Vitamin Leavein conditioner, this I did with the hope of probably sticking to the idea of buying and using store bought leave in conditioner and also to be able to recommend it to people that have been asking me for product suggestions.

Now let's get down to business:

• The product came in a spray bottle which didn't go well with me because I will have to mind the spray head whenever I need to go out with but on the flip side it is going to be very useful when the product is exhausted. And moreso it has a stopper, I don't have to bother about accidental discharge. So I'm eager to turn it into a spritz bottle. I actually don't have a spray bottle anymore. The ones I had stopped functioning.
• The product is water base, exactly what I needed for my 4C dry hair.
• The fragrance is great.
• The quantity is okay for the price and truth is you don't need much to get your hair feeling cool, little is enough.

I must tell you, I was so conscious of the state of my hair the first time I used it, my hand- in- hair syndrome was at its peak all day long. First thing I noticed was that each time I touched my hair to feel, it felt moisturized, soft and protected. My fingers even came out moisturised, nope, I'm not exaggerating. Air conditioner dries out my hair and I was inside an air conditioned room all day and my hair didn't dry out.

Before, whenever I pulled my hair it comes out broken but it was different this time, I had to intentionally break some strands by pulling so hard. I wasn't been crazy I was just surprised that my hair wasn't coming off.
It is light weight too, what I mean is that it didn't weigh my hair down. It penetrated easily into my 4C dry hair, it protected it also and retained moisture all day. Now I've used this product for days and my observation still remains the same.

Would I get this again?
You know the answer is YES.

Would I recommend it?
Of course YES.

My hair has a low porosity,very dry and high density. Uyai naturals vitamin leave-in conditioner lived more than expectation, absolutely satisfying.

Let me quickly drop this, Uyai Naturals is a Nigerian brand. And all of their products are made specifically for Naturals. Getting this product is my own way of supporting and buying made in Nigeria.

If you would want to get this product, you can send a mail to mitchellesdesk@gmail.com
Or whatsapp 08053719071.

ANKARA HEADBAND TUTORIAL

Adorn your natural hair with this ankara fabric headband

Hope you all are doing great? I was going through some hair accessories pictures and it just clicked that I could make mine with an Ankara fabric and add modification to it. So I got my lazy ass up one boring afternoon and dug into my closet then brought out this piece of Ankara that was meant to be an accompanying scarf for an Ankara dress. Well, I don't use it anyway so it was a perfect option.

Check the collage below, what do you think, uhn?

DIY Ankara fabric headbad

I posted it in a group and some people asked me for a tutorial, NICE!!!, it's a great idea making a picture tutorial and catching fun with it. Then again I went back into my closet and dug out another Ankara scarf wasting away... aarrrgh... I really don't like tying native scarfs but it's a great thing beautifying my mane with them in form of a headband and the good part of it is that it goes well with any type of dressing. Yes!!! that's the awesome part of it.

If you want to try it, here it is:

Note: the length of your elastic must be shorter than the case you prepared for it, say about 2-3 inches shorter. If not it won't be firm.

So that is it!

It is quite simple and it gets more easier and simpler the more you practice.

Perhaps you get confused at some point, please don't hesitate to drop your question in the comment box.

Thanks!

NATURAL HAIR GROWTH CHALLENGE ALERT!

ITEMS NEEDED FOR HAIR GROWTH CHALLENGE CULLED FROM KINKY AND CURLY LOUNGE


This year I want us to do something different, we are going to push a key ingredient until we see result. So for this first 2016 challenge, I chose COFFEE.


Yes, coffee has been discovered to play a unique role in hair growth, and we are going to savore it all. Coffee is known to be that Ingredient that targets DHT, this is a hormone that is responsible for hair loss, it's there to restrict the follicle' s ability to produce hair, this hormone is the main culprit for alopecia, I recall when women use to bald in the past people use to say their male hormones dominate their female hormones, no, it's not the case.


I thought if we can understand the science behind this female partial baldness, then we might definitely start to tackle the situation. DHT actually goes ahead to shrink the hair follicle, and when that happens hair can not survive. This is where coffee comes in, It helps keep the hair follicle in its anagen phase. We all know the hair follicles has 3 stages the growth phase which is the anagen phase, the cessation phase which is the catagen phase and the telogen phase which is the rest phase. So coffee helps keep telling hair follicles on the growth phase longer. So we can Confidently say it prolongs the growth cycle.


We will be doing prepoo, rinses and conditioners with coffee throughout this challenge, it's gonna be a coffee affair ladies.


Also we will be needing



- hibiscus (Zobo leaves)
- onions/ginger/garlic- mustard seed/ powder
-Olive oil
- beer




We will be starting next week Monday, shall I plead with you ladies to spend this week getting ready for the challenge? And I was thinking it will be a good Idea for those who have not had a trim for more than 3 months should please do so this week before the challenge. Giving your hair a fresh start could be very beneficial, we might be holding on to split ends, and if we are, this challenge will be of no good to us all.


Thanks.


Natural Hair Journey (C00165667)

MY JOURNEY TO NATURAL HAIR

MY JOURNEY TO NATURAL HAIR


Google image



11th of June Year 2014 was a memorable day for me and as such I think I have to celebrate the day annually. Wondering what I’m talking about? relax, you would understand in a short while. You know, anytime I see those African-American kids with their natural hair bun or afro, am always like “wow”, “beautiful”, “great”, “how I wish I had that kind of hair”. Okay maybe what I should have searched for was "how do they manage their natural hair?"




Google image

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Don't you just love them?



Yeah, I love it and I covet it but then what was I suppose to do? I thought to myself that there was absolutely no way I could keep my natural hair.


Growing up in a kind of church that frowns at perming and you going just ahead and get your hair permed would definitely birth you a new name probably a “rebel” or what do you think? Or you happened to be the only female in your nuclear family who still uses relaxer…#coughs…I’m sure other members of the family are secretly praying for your change of mind just so relaxer would not stand against you on the judgment day…lol. Well, either religion or society, I believe people should be left alone to do whatever they choose to do as long as it doesn’t change who they are and or perhaps, religion and society should be permitted to influence them in their own volition without any sting of force or authority as long as its effect is on the positive side.



Okay don’t let me deviate too much, my family actually thought I preferred perming my hair even though they know perfectly well how strong my natural hair is! I mean my hair breaks comb! it spreads and grows wildly in a bushy way!

I remember one day when I was in senior class 1, I just started growing my hair back after I did a big chop (my very first time of cutting my hair ever since I was born when I wanted to resume Junior class 1 simply because the school rules said “no hair plaiting”), so I secured my afro with a hair band and a female teacher called me back and asked “is this hair or bush?” I was like “what???” but you know now you can’t say anything, else, you never can tell what the outcome would be but I tell you I never liked that teacher till I graduated from the school.

Even with my peeps understanding of the thickness of my hair, they still wanted me to stop using relaxer and probably start “threading “ugh? Thread? Me? with that accompanying pain? It’s a capital NO. The result could be malaria. What could they do? they eventually left me to myself and I know that in their heart of their hearts they are secretly praying to God to make me change…lol.

Many a times I shake my head while I watch them say whatever they so wish because they never knew how much I wish to grow my natural hair, that I would gladly ditch relaxers if there was another way to manage my hair and save myself from the harshness of chemicals, burnt scalp and also the health hazards that is attached to it.

The reason why I wanted to wear my hair naturally wasn’t because of religion, church or my family, not because pastor says so but because I covet those type of hair I see on the TV, I loved it,I wanted it, I craved it, I even blamed God for giving us Africans this type of hair I mean why didn’t He give all human same straight,wavy or loose curls type of hair? why does He have to punish us with this type of mane and in a way subjecting us to mental slavery for trying to look like the whites thus losing our self confidence and maybe also developing self hatred.

So how was I supposed to manage this thick, bushy, hard hair with all my cravings for keeping my hair natural????



We all know how Facebook is recently advertising random pages and groups on your newsfeed, right? So I’ve been seeing this particular group name too often and I kept on ignoring it because it’s about hair and I’m not such person that pays attention to hair. I can decide to grow my hair for sometimes and just wake up one day and ask someone to help me cut it #straight face#, I don’t care the hair grows wildly anyway it wouldn’t take much time with no effort to get it back, I also thought it was a group for some over spiritual set of people (SU as they are popularly called) with natural hair that sees perming a sin, in my mind I was like these people are funny they even created a group for themselves. At this time I had my short hair which I had been wearing in Anita Baker style for more than a year moreover what would I be looking for in that kind of a group full of “SU”. I didn’t see any reason to join the group at all.








before the big chop about a year ago





I will miss my short hair look so dearly




But this day 11/06/2014 I’m sure I wasn't the one that clicked the “join group” command…lol… maybe my shadow did or probably in my dreams or curiosity pushed me to check what they were even talking about, I tell you, it was the best decision I’ve ever made and the best group I’ve seen on Facebook, NATURAL HAIR BABES (NHB). If I had known it was just all about natural hair (popularly called VIRGIN HAIR) for everyone who desires it leaving spirituality aside, I would have joined a very long time ago.


I took my time to read posts, comments and visited their website www.naturalhairville.com and I was totally amazed. Pictures of people with their natural hair styled beautifully looking chicky and classy threw me off balance coupled with different recipes and procedures to deep condition the hair to come so soft and luscious and I was like “babe where have you been all these while?” so our African hair could be this beautiful and lovely! Lack of knowledge could be detrimental and keep you in a tightly fixed place while the world keeps revolving; I tell you, one will just remain there. I didn’t know that avoiding dryness and keeping the hair moisturized is the sole simple way to manage kinky hair and I was just there constantly seeking the help of chemicals and flat iron thinking there couldn’t be any other better way when cheapest recipe as "water" takes the front sit in managing natural hair, what a fool I was.


On this very day, I made up my mind to keep my hair, turned my back on relaxers and said a bye to burnt scalp #sigh just that I am so going to miss my Anita Baker styled hair that I wore for more than a year, I so love the look. NHB did not only opened my eyes to the goodness and the beauty of kinky hair, it also presented me easy and inexpensive way to care for my hair with all DIY procedures that some recipes could even be found in the kitchen! Like seriously.


It was almost close to three months I relaxed my hair, I was using flat iron occasionally but then I was already having undergrowth so I jumped to my feet and started practicing things I have read so far that same day. I applied olive oil, left it for some minutes then washed off. I felt the softness of the hair but that wasn’t enough though, I wanted some curls so I proceeded to do bantu knots OMG,





my amateur Bantu knots





my Bantu knot out



The result was super great. And then I religiously started practicing the LOC-GHE every night, the result I got was just too great, soft moisturized hair, little or no itching and ultimately moisturized scalp. Let me say it better, my long time friend that I already considered part of me disappears! i never knew all I needed to get rid of the almighty DANDRUFF was to keep my scalp from drying #SMH# how funny. Ignorance is a bitch! I really can’t contain the excitement this brought to me, everyone around me knows already that I am going on natural hair journey and my male friends can’t wait to see me fully natural #LAUGHS# they’ve been disturbing me to trim off the permed ends and I’ve been like “what’s your own sef?”


Foremost, I beg God to forgive me for blaming Him and also for not accepting the hair He gave me, ignorance caused it all. I am happy I found NATURAL HAIR BABES group on Facebook . May God bless the founder of NATURAL HAIR BABES group and all the ADMINS. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me so far. I am happy that my orientation about natural hair that it can’t be managed has changed. I am so grateful to all the people that encourage others with their hair pictures, regimen, and words to influence positively the lives of others to embrace our God given African kinky nappy hair. Lastly I am supper happy that companies producing relaxers lost one customer already.


I wish myself and every other person who has decided and who would still decide to wear their hair naturally a HAPPY NATURAL HAIR JOURNEY. #CYBER-HUGS.



SU- scripture union.
LOC- liquid,oil and cream.
GHE- green house effect.

IF SHE CAN'T YOU CAN'T

This post was written out of annoyance, please pardon me for it being so. It's just one of those periods when I pen down things as they come to my mind and I in most cases finds it hard to reconstruct it as it makes me feel betrayed of myself and perceives it as adulterated. It was inspired by a post I read on one of my favorite pages on Facebook where this lady came to the public asking for help. She obviously regretted her action but her partner kicked her away even though the guy wasn't a saint either. This as well reminded me of a short video I watched sometimes last year so I asked Google to help me find it because I think it is important to share it with you as it buttresses this post the more.

What is your take? Watch and share your thoughts!This short film titled "If She Can't, He Can't" was just shared by Femi Familoye, a Nigerian film-maker based in the UK.

"If she can't, he can't" is a short film and was shot unscripted on location while the actors were waiting for their scene to be shot for the main project.It's based on the premise that it's ok for men to cheat but abominable for women to cheat. If she can't, can he, could he or should he?





I'm not an advocate for gender equality, I just detest injustice. I know you (men) all believe it's your world as if women are trash. When a man cheats, it's okay. When a woman cheats, she's a prostitute. Whatever it is that makes you think it's not right for a woman to cheat is also the same thing that applies to you.

Yes men are tempted but wait a minute, have you ever wondered if women also get tempted or not? I'm sure you really don't give that much of a thought but let me tell you, women are more tempted,

WHY?, HOW?

Either she's beautiful or not guys will always admire her and woo her. Now After all her dedication, commitment, love and care, the guy we still go out there and meet with another woman, then she would be told to forgive and forget, don't allow the devil to destroy your relationship/marriage, keep praying to God to change him. Just be prayerful and be patience.

But if it was a guy, she's a prostitute dump her ass, you married a whore divorce her, she's a bitch, useless girl, just let her go, you will verbally destroy her and include her mother. She begs for forgiveness, but u castigate her. You as a guy call your cheating a mistake so who says a lady can't make mistake. You beg for forgiveness and she accepts you back, she asks for forgiveness but u push her away and say no, you can't trust her again. She keeps on giving you another chance each time you were caught cheating, she begs for just one more chance to right her wrong, but no, you look her straight in the eyes and tell her, NO, that she disgusts you.


What makes you better as a guy in the sight of God?

Is a forgiving spirit designed for women and women alone?

What makes your cheating act different from the woman's?

Who says a guy deserves forgiveness and second chance and a woman doesn't?

What says you shouldn't treat your woman the way you want and expect her to treat you?


IF YOU THINK SHE CAN'T, YOU CAN'T.



Whatever you do or think, whether you believe it's a man's world or you think you can always get away with what you do or say it's the society that we are in, just remember there is God. A just God that sees things differently.